First Steps

Sometimes, first steps involve no steps at all. Or in this case, only the number of steps from the bed to the kitchen back to the changing table and then - you guessed it - back to the bed.

Yesterday was the first day I was at home with Ethan by myself all day. The first true test of being a mom all on my own. Okay, yes: if we're being technical, I'm not doing this all on my own. I have the Husband, and his family, and my own mom to call on for advice and commiseration. I have friends here who have kids of their own...I'm decently well sorted when it comes to lines of support. But, let's face it: at the end of the day I'm Ethan's mother. I'm the one who has to keep him fed and changed and happy and well-rested when Sebastian's at work. I have to sing him songs and recite nursery rhymes and teach him how to say his ABC's.

As first days go, it wasn't bad. He took several naps (so did I), I got some cleaning done, I caught up on a few of my TV shows (oh Grey's Anatomy...how I've missed you.), and I even got some milk set aside for those nighttime feeds when I just can't drag myself out of bed and leave the whole affair in the Husband's capable hands. Despite not making it out on the mid-afternoon walk I had in mind, yesterday went swimmingly.

Today, on the other hand, was a bit harder. Yes, I still watched a movie and a few episodes of Glee, but E refused to sleep unless I was holding him. And even then he didn't sleep very much at all. Every time I tried to get some food set aside for Seb to feed him with in the middle of the night, E got so hungry that I had to feed him whatever I'd stored up, with the result that now, at 7:30, I have yet to get a bottle in the fridge for him so that my tired bedraggled ass can sleep at 3 in the morning when E's been asleep for a sum total of 2 hours and is up again to demand MOAR FOODZ.

To be honest, I was impressed that he sat in his car seat long enough for me to make some strategic bathroom trips, let alone to quickly vacuum the hallway like I'd been wanting to for ages now. You know the priorities of your life have shifted when "free time" is the time you use to do basic things like shower, do your hair, and clean your house. Forget about catching up on TV shows, reading that book that you checked out from the library two months ago, or browsing through Google feed reader to catch up on all the good blog posts; Nope! Time when you're not attached to the baby is reserved for face-washing, leg-shaving, and floor-sweeping.

At some point in the very near future, I'm going to get this boy on enough of a schedule to get him out for a daily walk/run so that Yours Truly can start shrinking back to a normal size. Hell, forget my old Banana Republic corduroys, I'll settle for being able to wear my rings again! That finger has felt nekkid for a very long time without my engagement and wedding rings on it. And nekkid fat fingers are not conducive to rebuilding self-esteem in the face of enforced post-partum inactivity and angry stretch marks.

Good thing I've got a cute baby out of all of this. Three weeks may not seem long in the grand scheme of things, but so far it's stretching on more than long enough. I can't wait to get back to a normal level of fitness and find a good routine with Ethan during the day. Those two things are my Christmas wishes...oh, and some cute pumps wouldn't go amiss, either...