Thursday, July 26, 2012

Inside vs. Outside

Well, we've officially reached equilibrium. Not in any useful sense, but with an error margin of the approximate 2 days I spent in labour (okay, a day and a half) Ethan has now spent as much time out in the world as he spent curled up all snug and warm in my uterus. How weird does that feel? How is my tiny baby most of the way to being a year old?
It's insane for me to look back at the pictures I have of the past nine months and see just how much our little pirate has gone from being a tiny baby with spindly little froggy legs (look at how huge that nappy is back at Thanksgiving!), to a tall and solid little boy who stomps around the house and giggles at the funniest things...and somehow managed to beat the genetic odds and get blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

So what have I learned about Ethan since first we met back in October? (Let's keep this list strategically numbered, hmm?)

  1. His favourite book is The Very Hungry Caterpillar
  2. If you take the Cookie Monster's old song, but sing it "E is for Ethan, that's good enough for me..." it gets his attention enough to calm him down almost all of the time.
  3. He would, in fact, like to have a bite of that ice cream cone, thank you very much.
  4. Things he thinks are funny: fake sneezes, real sneezes, whippin' yo hurr back and forth, being squeezed, being upside-down, dancing, invading his personal space, etc.
  5. Baths are for splashing.
  6. Everything is made better by being allowed to stand up.
  7. Try though you might, you can never successfully hide a headphone cable about your person. He will find it.
  8. He will not: clap his own hands. He will: make you clap yours.
  9. The only time he is gentle is when he give you hugs. (And they're the best hugs ever!)
How have I changed these past nine months? 
  1. Eight consecutive hours of sleep? What's that? 
  2. Vacuuming? One-handed. Cleaning the kitchen? One-handed. Eating lunch? One-handed.
  3. I have witnessed every morphological permutation of poop conceived by man.
  4. Ever taken off someone's clothing to have soggy bread crusts and Cheerios fall out? I have.
  5. How much cleaning can you do in 90 minutes? Let's make it a game show.
  6. I will never ever ever not ever leave my babies in their cribs to do controlled crying. It's mean to everyone involved and Teh Interwebz makes you feel like the worst parent in the world when you try to find some external validation when things get difficult. True story.
  7. Having had no opinion before, I find myself violently opposed to circumcision unless it's medically necessary. Seriously: there's no good reason at all to do it just as a matter of routine.
  8. I now cannot count the number of times I've said, "no please; be gentle." or, "don't you do it!" or "we don't [insert unintentionally dangerous/violent behaviour here]."
  9. I'm someone's mommy, and that's awesome sauce.
There is something wonderful about being the most important person in someone's world in that way. It's trite, but it's definitely something you can't appreciate fully until you've got a kid of your own. When you're not caught up in keeping them from chewing the power cords or playing with plugs, it's an amazing thing. But for now, I have some post-nap cuddling to get to!

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